Are Your Fingers Too Swollen To Hold Hands?
When your arthritic fingers swell, it is often too painful to hold hands with someone else. So, what do you do when you need to hold a child’s hand when crossing the street or when in a busy, crowded place? Or what do you do when your loved one wants to hold your hand as a display of affection?
It really just comes down to what you are comfortable with. Here are some suggestions.
Holding a Child’s Hand
If you need to hold your child’s (grandchild, nephew, niece, etc.) hand when your hands are in a great deal of pain, then ask the child to hold your arm just above the wrist. Or have the child hold a piece of your clothing, jacket or purse. If you are pushing a cart or stroller, you can even have the child hold that. Praise them when they do it and let them know that they must hold on until you tell them that it is okay to let go. Once the child (or children) get into the habit of holding something other than your hand, it will be second nature for them.
Of course, if your hands do not hurt, go ahead and hold their hands to let them know that you still enjoy it. Children, often times, do not understand why adults do certain things and they may assume you do not love them anymore. Just be honest and let them know that you would love to hold their hands all day long, but some days it is just too painful. It may take some time, but they will understand. Just shower them with love in other ways. Hugs and kisses work great!
Holding a Loved-One’s Hand
It is common for your spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend to show their affection for you by holding your hand. So, if your loved one wants to hold your hand, be honest about how it affects you. Your loved one should understand. He/she certainly does not want to inflict pain on you. After all, the intent was to show their affection for you.
Once you share your concern, it is the perfect time to think of another way to show your mutual affection for each other. Maybe an arm around the shoulder or around the back. If you are sitting, maybe place your hand lightly on top of his. Hugs and kisses work great too!
Good luck!